Talking About the Uncomfortable Subject of Money with Donors

In many cultures — ours included — talking about money is taboo.

It’s considered impolite to talk about how much you make, how much your home costs, etc. Of course, you can find out some of this information online, but it’s more likely you’d look it up than ask your friend how much they make.

Consider the Uncomfortable Subject of Money

Most children don’t know how much their parents or adult siblings earn. It’s unlikely that you’ve discussed your retirement plans or investment strategies with your closest friends. That’s because talking about money in many families and circles is considered rude and even disrespectful.

Unfortunately, this also applies to giving. It can make asking for donations uncomfortable and awkward. Even if you, a fundraiser, are comfortable talking about money, the person you’re sitting across from may not be.

In other words, most people don’t talk about their charitable giving with friends or family.

Talking About Money: My Own Real-World Examples

I recently had an “ah-ha” moment after I donated to a cause I care about. People in a Facebook group for the cause were discussing holding a fundraiser and charging $35 for a house party. Several people in the group said $35 was too much.

I had just given $1,000. I was taken aback by the conversation and the small thinking. It got me wondering if I could raise the level of thinking and the conversation by sharing what I donated. I was confident many members of the group could give $1,000 or more. Or, would my chiming in simply alienate those who couldn’t give at that level?

I decided it was important for me to share what I had given with the hopes of inspiring others.

Another More Personal Example

As a family, we talk about money with our kids. They know how much my husband and I earn, and how we allocate for expenses, savings, vacations, and charitable contributions. More recently, I have started discussing personal and family finances with my parents, which is not something we did when we were young.

As a sector and as professionals, we can play a role in changing the narrative.

4 Questions to Start the Discussion with Donors

Here are some questions you might ask donors to get the conversation going:

1. How do you make decisions about charitable contributions?
2. Is your giving and charity something you discuss with friends or family? Could you see yourself starting that conversation?
3. Do you have goals for yourself socially, financially, health-wise, and in terms of leaving a legacy? Are you comfortable sharing how you think about those things?
4. What does generosity mean to you? Do your friends and family know about your generosity?

We often say that fundraising isn’t about money, it’s about impact. But the truth is you also need to be comfortable talking about money. Because impact costs money.

I hope we can all be a part of the change toward making talking about money less taboo. Your comments are welcome below.