Language and Tone Matter — in Nonprofit Leadership and in Life

Have you ever thought about how language and tone influence the outcomes you achieve in life and in leadership?

Words are more than just a means of communication. They are tools that can inspire, persuade, and build trust — or they can alienate, offend, and create barriers.

In both nonprofit leadership and everyday life, the way we use language has a direct impact on how others perceive us and, ultimately, how they respond.

The Words You Choose Reflect Upon Your Leadership

In a recent NYT editorial, Jenny Anderson and Rebecca Winthrop discuss how speaking to kids differently yields different results, which inspired this post. And I think many of the same lessons can be applied to adults.

Here’s an excerpt from their article:

How teachers talk to their students can be as important as what they say. Mr. Reeve showed teachers how to use a reasoning tone. For example: (“I’m assigning this article because I want you to understand how photosynthesis can be useful in trying to invent new climate change technology”) rather than controlling (“You have to read this article by Friday”). Students felt more respected and more interested, and they listened more.

Controlling language shuts students down. Reasoning language lowers the shield… Kids open up.

So: Instead of “Here is an example of a good essay. Please go write one,” the teacher might say, “Here is an example of a good essay. What is your goal for this first draft?” Rather than simply being told, students reflect on what they need to accomplish and develop a plan to make it happen. Teachers monitor and coach them along the way.

I loved the article (and the examples) because it made me consider how I communicate with my team at Capital Campaign Pro and my family! Speaking with kindness, power, and influence, without being alienating is important.

In Language and Leadership, Tone Matters

Leaders are judged by their actions and their words. The ability to articulate a vision, give clear instructions, or provide constructive feedback is critical to effective leadership.

3 Examples of Positive vs. Negative Tone

In addition, the tone of delivery can either amplify or diminish the impact of your words. Here are three specific examples:

1. Speaking with Colleagues

“That idea will never work. Let’s move on.”

• versus…

“That’s an interesting idea. Can you say more? I’m not quite sure I get it yet.”

2. Giving Feedback

“Your report was a mess, and I had to rewrite it.”

• versus…

“Some areas in your report could be improved for clarity. Let’s review them together so we can strengthen it together.”

3. Communicating with Superiors

“I don’t agree with your plan.”

• versus…

“I see where you’re coming from, but I wonder if we could also consider this alternative to address potential challenges.”

The latter approaches in all three examples maintain respect and also create opportunities for learning.

3 Practical Tips to Improve Your Tone

How you’re perceived as a leader is directly tied to how well you communicate with your team. Here are a few practical tips to help you maintain a positive tone.

1. Think Before You Speak — Take a moment and a deep breath before speaking to consider your words and tone, especially in heated situations.
2. Use “I” Statements — You’ve heard this before. Using “I” statements can help us focus on expressing our feelings and perspectives rather than accusing others. For example, “I need more clarity on this task” is better than “You didn’t explain this well.”
3. Practice Empathy — Think about how you like to be spoken to. Everyone, kids and adults, want to be treated with kindness and respect.

Use Language and Tone Wisely to Connect

The way we use language and communicate with one another is one of the most powerful tools we have.

As a leader — or in nearly any role throughout your life — communication can help you inspire, influence, and achieve your desired outcomes. When we communicate effectively, we can have greater impact with those around us.

The next time you find yourself in a conversation or a meeting, consider how your words and tone help you connect, motivate, and bring out the best in others. Small adjustments in how you communicate can lead to big changes in the results you achieve.

How do you use language and tone to get results in your life and work? Share your thoughts and tips in the comments below!