How to Ask for a Major Gift: 5 Clear Steps in 30 Minutes (or Less)

Today, you’re going to learn how to ask for a major gift in five very clear steps. You’ll need about 30 minutes of time total to carry out these steps. But before diving in to the “how-to”, it’s important to know WHEN and WHERE to ask for a major gift.

Knowing WHEN to Ask for a Major Gift

Let’s assume you’ve built a fairly good relationship with your prospective donor. In other words, you would recognize one another if you passed on the street and you could rattle off a few facts about them, for example:

• Names / general ages of their closest family members (spouse, kids, grandkids, etc.)
• What they do or did for a living
• If they have any vacation homes
• What they like to do for fun
• Other organizations they volunteer for
• Why they care about your organization
• What would motivate them to give more

If you can answer all (or at least most) of those questions, you’re probably ready to ask for a major gift.

Knowing WHERE to Ask for a Major Gift

Let’s also assume you’ve asked for a meeting to discuss their support of the organization. You’re walking up to their front door.

You ring the doorbell. Stand up straight. Straighten your shirt and jacket. Make sure there’s nothing in your teeth (do that before you even get out of the car).

Knowing WHO should Ask for a Major Gift

Ideally, asking should be done in pairs. If possible, have someone else (a board member, the Executive Director, or Development Director) with you. This is someone the prospective donor already knows and likes. It’s not the right time to be introducing them to someone new.

If you don’t have the right partner to ask with because your boss and board members can’t (or won’t) ask, it’s still up to you to make the ask. Don’t get hung up on wishing you had a partner — it’s ideal, but not necessary.

A Cautionary Tip: Never ask in a restaurant

Notice, in this scenario takes place at the donor’s home. It could also take place in their office. Not in a restaurant.

Many novice major gift solicitors invite prospects to lunch, because it seems like the natural thing to do. However, a restaurant is the wrong place to ask for a major gift. A public space, like a restaurant is not quiet or confidential, which are two qualities you should look for in a location when asking for a gift. If the donor doesn’t want to meet in their home or office, invite them to your office or conference room.

The Major Gift Ask Agenda: 5 Clear Steps — (About 30 Minutes)

You’ve prepared for this meeting, and now you’re ready. Here are five clearly laid-out steps, with sample ask language and responses, presented along a 30-minute timeline.

1. Small Talk — (5 minutes)

Don’t dive right into the reason you’re there. Break the ice with small talk. Ask about their family, recent vacations, work etc. See the checklist in the ‘Knowing WHEN to Ask…’ section above for ideas.

2. Confirm and Engage — (10 minutes)

Take a seat if you haven’t already done so. It’s time to get to business.

Confirm why you’re there. Say something like:

As you know, I’m here (we’re here) to discuss the new after school initiative to add a fitness and health component and how you can help. Is that your understanding as well?

(Confirm why you are there and ask permission to have the conversation.)

Provide a brief recap of the program or service you will be asking them to fund. (no more than 3 minutes as a refresher. The donor should already know about the program.) Say something along the lines of:

As we shared at our last visit, the after-school program is in need of a health and fitness program. Kids today are often overweight and not getting the nutritious meals they require or enough exercise. This new program will require the addition of a new staff members, as well as a nutritionist coming in once a week to show the kids how to prepare healthy snacks. And, instead of offering chips and pretzels as an after school snack, we will provide fresh fruit and vegetables, which are significantly more expensive.

The impact of this initiative could last a lifetime for hundreds of kids who, as a group are at risk for obesity and diabetes. This is due to the fact that they ordinarily don’t have access to fresh fruits and vegetables and don’t exercise nearly enough.

Now it’s time to ensure you’re engaging the person sitting across from you. Remember, you’re having a dialogue, not a monologue:

Is providing inner city kids the opportunity to learn about health and nutrition something that’s important to you?

(Try to get your donor to say “yes” once or twice before you ask for the gift.)

Give them an opportunity to participate in conversation. Ask an open-ended question or two:

What about this initiative is most exciting to you?

What questions or concerns do you have about this program?

3. Make the Ask — (3 minutes)

Now it’s time to ask. Make sure you’ve practiced exactly what you want to say. Get comfortable asking impact and a specific amount. For example:

We’re here today to ask you to help keep kids safe and healthy and help them develop good, lifelong habits, (lead with impact) by considering a gift in the range of $10,000.

Here’s another example:

We’re here today to ask you to help create and showcase performing art in the community (start with impact). We’re really not sure how much to ask you for, but one week-long production by a new play write costs about $100,000 to produce. Is that something you could consider?

A final example:

The last thing on earth I want to be doing right now is asking for money. I’d much rather be spending time taking care of sick and stray animals. But, I can’t do that without keeping the lights on, paying vet bills, and buying food. Would you consider a gift of $10,000 to help keep animals in our community safe and well cared for?

4. Listen… and Respond — (however long it takes, typically 10 minutes)

That’s it. Now keep quiet for however long it takes them to respond. Even if it gets uncomfortable, wait it out. Now it’s their turn to talk.

There are only three possible responses a donor can have at this point:

1. Yes
2. No
3. Maybe

It’s your job to be prepared for all three of these responses. Let’s examine each.

The donor says “Yes”

Yes is a great answer. Thank the donor. Ask how they would like to make the gift. And, briefly discuss any recognition opportunities.

When you get back to the office, make a note that you probably could have asked for more, as they said yes fairly quickly. Then, put your best stewardship effort into process. Have the Executive Director send a thank you note (handwritten) and instruct a board member make a thank you call (or vice-versa). The Director of Development should send an email, both recapping the conversation and thanking the donor. If appropriate, send a written gift agreement.

After the gift comes in, send a gift receipt with a personal note. In approximately six months, take the donor to lunch (yes, now it’s a good time to go to lunch) and thank the donor again in person. Let them know HOW their gift was used and what impact they are making. After lunch, follow up in writing and reiterate the impact they made with their gift.

The donor says “No”

No is always disappointing, but don’t get up and leave just yet. It’s your job to find out more. Ask open-ended questions to learn more. For example:

Can you share more about what you had in mind? How would you like to help?

The donor says “Maybe”

Maybe can come in many forms. It can sound like “That’s a lot of money…” or “I need to think about it…”

If you donor wants to think about it, be delighted. Respond with something like:

I’m delighted you’ll consider our request. Do you have any questions or concerns I could address before you make a decision?

Once those have been explored, set a follow up time and date. If possible, meet again in person. If not, you can follow up by phone. If you don’t follow up (within a week or two if at all possible) then it’s like you never asked.

If you’re responding to a commend like, “that’s a lot of money,” you can say:

Yes, that is a lot of money. It takes a lot of money to have a big impact and effect a lot of kids. Is it an amount you can consider, or should we be discussing another amount?

5. Confirm — (2 minutes)

As the meeting winds down, confirm what you’ve heard and what the next steps are:

As we discussed, I just want to make sure I’ve got this right: you’ve agreed to consider a gift of $10,000. We’ll be following up next Thursday at 10 a.m. I’ll call your office. In the meantime, I’ll be sending you the budget for the program.

Always Prepare and Practice Before Asking for a Major Gift

Asking for major gifts is one of the most important business meetings you’ll ever have. Don’t wing it — be prepared!

Do some research to determine the best ask amount you can come up with.

• What has the donor given to your organization in the past?
• What do they give to other organizations?
• What do they want to accomplish and how much does that cost?

Factor in everything you know about the prospect when deciding on an ask amount.

If you’re going to the meeting with another person, help them prepare as well. Designate roles in advance and do some roleplaying. Decide who will open the meeting, who will confirm and engage, and who will make the actual ask. Don’t leave this to chance.

Now the only thing between you and a major gift is an ask, and 30 pivotal minutes of your time.

Have you asked for a major gift before? If so, what was your greatest struggle or source of anxiety? Let me know in the comments.