Heading into Valentine’s Day, there will be countless marriage proposals. However, most of these proposals will not be spontaneous — they will be well planned, and carefully executed events.
The “proposer” has probably made arrangements for a memorable occasion — at a minimum, reservations at a favorite or fancy restaurant. It’s likely that they’ve purchased a ring, planned what to say, and even planned for recording (video) of the “spontaneous” moment.
The same careful planning and execution should go into your major gift proposal.
Asking for a Major Gift is Requires Trust and Time
Of course, in a marriage proposal, the person being proposed to might be surprised by the proposal itself. However, they’re generally not completely unaware that a proposal is on the way. They know the outcome of their successful dating relationship could eventually lead to a marriage proposal.
The same is true in fundraising.
Major gift fundraising is like a marriage proposal…
Maybe you’ve heard this analogy: “Major gift fundraising is like a marriage proposal… you should never ask on the first date.”
In other words, it’s unlikely you’ll get someone to agree to marry you if you ask them on the first date. That seems pretty obvious. And the same is true when asking for a major gift.
Before you can ask for, and expect someone to give you a major gift, they need to know and trust your organization.
Development directors frequently wonder if they can ask donors for gifts the first time they meet. The answer, of course, is yes, they can. But, not if they want to raise a major gift.
It’s OK to ask for small gifts early on
If you want to raise a small gift, sure. Go ahead and ask the first time you meet someone. However, if you want to really raise major gifts, it’s important to get to know your potential donor first.
Fundraising is About Long-Term Relationships
It’s easy to think of fundraising like dating.
On a first date, it’s important to get to know someone before you ask them to commit to a long-term relationship. The same is true when getting to know your donors.
If you’re asking a donor to be in it with you for the long haul, you’re going to need to build trust and a level of commitment.
That’s what major gift fundraising is all about. The issues most nonprofits are tackling are long-term. If the issues your organization tried to address were easy, you’d have accomplished your mission long ago.
So the next time you feel inclined to ask someone for a gift at a first meeting, think back to some of your first dates and how cringe-worthy it would’ve been if your date proposed to you at that first meeting.
Have you ever asked a donor for a gift a little too soon? What was that like? Tell me about it in the comments.
I worked with a CEO who would ask for ridiculous amounts of money on the first meeting of a prospective donor we were qualifying. It got to the point that I didn’t want for him to go to donor meetings anymore. Some donors responded, usually with a “no” to his ask, but a few would make a small increase in their annual giving, but some donors we outright lost. The worst was the donor gossip that got back to me (local philanthropy circles run small) that folks were saying amongst themselves to watch out for our CEO, that he would hit you up for money. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me at that point!