How to Listen Your Way to Raising a Major Gift by Asking for Advice

There’s a popular expression in fundraising:

Ask for money and you’ll get advice, but ask for advice and you’ll get money.

The expression is a euphemism for “getting to know your donors.” It reminds us not to ask too soon. In other words, if you ask for money right away, you might get an earful — the donor will tell you all the reasons she can’t give.

However, if you slow down and get to know your donor before asking for money, they’ll be ready to donate when the time is right.

Asking your donor for advice is a fantastic way to do this.

Ask Your Donor for Advice First

Many fundraisers are afraid to ask for advice because they’re concerned about the type of advice their donors may give.

For example, what if your donor wants you to do something you simply can’t or don’t want to do?

Relax — asking for advice is primarily a way to get to know your donor and start a conversation. The most important thing is to listen genuinely and respond appropriately, even if you can’t take their advice at this time.

Asking for advice opens the conversation.

Let’s say you work for a performing arts center. The center gives acting lessons to kids after school. Your donor thinks you should bus kids from the local school (where their granddaughter attends) to your classes. They’ll even pay for the transportation.

However, you’re not in the business of providing transportation. You don’t have the staff or capacity to deal with one more thing.

It’s not a completely crazy idea. In fact, in some regards, it makes a lot of sense. However, it’s simply not something your organization is prepared to do at this time.

So what do you do? Why wouldn’t you provide transportation, especially if the donor is willing to pay for it?

Then Listen to Your Donor’s Ideas

No matter how logical or crazy your donor’s ideas are, you need to listen and take them seriously. Sometimes their advice is going to be something you can use. Other times, it’s not.

Regardless, it’s important to listen and acknowledge their ideas in a serious way.

If you’re not sure how to respond right away, let them know that you’ll think about their idea and get back to them. Then be sure to follow up in an appropriate amount of time (generally a week or less).

Let your donor know she’s been heard.

Let them know you really heard them. Then let them know how you and the board have decided to proceed.

You can say something like:

While your idea about bussing kids to our after-school programs is a really good one, unfortunately it’s not in our strategic plan for the next three years. But it’s definitely something we could consider in the future.

That said, there are three things we are in need of funding for right now… (then list those three things). I was wondering if you’d be interested in learning more about what types of financial support we need in those areas.

3 Questions to ask your donor to spark their ideas:

Here are some questions you can ask to engage your donors (aka “ask for advice”).

1. What do you love most about our work/organization?
2. What would you like to see us do more of?
3. What areas do we need to improve, and how might you like to help us in those areas?

As you can see, asking for advice doesn’t need to be taken literally. It simply connotes getting to know someone and listening to their thoughts about your organization and the issues that matter to them most.

Lastly, Listen Your Way to a Major Gift

The most successful major gift officers talk about listening their way to a major gift. What they mean is that they ask open-ended questions to get to know their donors. They are listening for clues about what the donor is passionate about:

• What fires your donors up?
• What kind of gift would make them really excited?

That’s what it means to listen your way to a gift. Find the thing about your donor that really gets them excited and connect it to your mission. That’s when the magic happens.