Even Good Fundraisers Have Bad Days

Picture this — It’s the start of the new school year. My kids were “Zooming to school” (as my mother would say). My 11th grader, Ethan, is in the basement. My 8th grader, Zoe, is in her room. And, I’m at the kitchen table, leading a webinar.

It’s 2:15, between periods, so my son comes up to get a snack. Without meaning to, he slams the basement door — not once, but twice — on his way up and down. I jump each time. (Yes, the camera is on.)

Back to my webinar. What was I saying? Something about donor retention, perhaps?

A few minutes later, Ethan emerges again. This time, oboe in hand. It’s time for band. He’s decided, thoughtfully, it will be too disruptive to play while I’m teaching, so he heads to the backyard, allowing the basement door to slam once more.

Could This Get Much Worse?

Naturally, our sliding door from the kitchen to the deck isn’t soundproof, so my webinar participants are treated to an amateur oboe concert. I lose my train of thought — again.

Moments later, the dog begins to howl (because that’s what she does when Ethan plays the oboe). We’re never sure if she’s singing along or objecting vigorously. So, he pauses playing long enough to put the dog inside… with me.

The webinar participants understand… I hope.

Yes… it gets worse.

The dog is now scratching and howling at the door. I can’t mute and I can’t hide. I carry my laptop (yes, the camera is still on) and drag the dog to the kitchen table, where I hold her for the duration of the webinar, trying to keep her quiet and calm.

Moments before ending, something falls down the stairs, slowly and loudly. Could it be my daughter? I hold my breath. Nope, just her phone, hitting every single step all the way down.

Bad Days Happen — to All of Us

Why am I telling you all of this? Because it happens. Bad days happen. Life happens.

I hope it gave you a chuckle. For my part, I just had to laugh. What else could I do?

Luckily, people are understanding for the most part.

Next time, instead of apologizing over and over, I’m going to ask the audience what I would hear if their mics were unmuted. What crazy chaos was going on in the background where they were Zooming from?

One truly bad speech in 12 years of public speaking…

Several years ago, I was speaking in St. Louis to the local AFP Chapter. I delivered a morning workshop on raising major gifts, and it went as well. I’m an experienced trainer and workshops are right in my wheelhouse.

I was scheduled to deliver the keynote that afternoon. It was a new talk, so I was a little more nervous than usual. However, since the morning went so well, I really didn’t have any cause to be concerned. I’m an experienced speaker and generally at ease in front of an audience.

Then, right before I was about to deliver the keynote, my flight home for later that day was canceled. I frantically called United to try to reschedule, but to no avail. I wasn’t going to get home that night. I was disappointed, to say the least.

I delivered the speech, reading from my notes, practically slumped against the lectern. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as it is in my memory, but I’ll never forget it. It stands out in my mind at the one truly bad speech I’ve ever given.

Everyone has bad days — all of us — that includes you and your donors.

So what can you do when you’re having a bad day? Or if you suspect a colleague or donor is having a bad day?

5 Ways to Handle Bad Days as a Fundraiser

Here are five things you can try to mitigate those unpleasant experiences — for yourself, and for others.

1. Listen

Listen to yourself and your needs. Pay attention to what’s going on around you and acknowledge the stress. If it’s someone else who needs listening to, lend a sympathetic ear.

2. Show compassion

Everyone has bad days now and then. And nowadays, bad days are even more common. Everyone is stressed over COVID-19, the economy, along with social and political upheaval. 2020 is stressing everyone to the max.

3. Take a break

Put yourself in time-out if necessary. Take a walk around the block. Make yourself some coffee. Put on your favorite song.

4. Breathe deeply

Taking deep breaths may sound silly, but it really works. Closing your eyes helps too. Take a moment to be in the moment.

5. Treat yourself

While this may not be the best long-term strategy, sometimes you just need a cookie. Or some ice cream. Or a piece of cake. (Maybe that’s just me.)

More Inspiration for Fundraisers

For more inspirational content, check out these posts:

• Why You Must Keep Learning as a Fundraiser: If You’re Not Growing, You’re Dying
• How to Be Happier and More Productive at Your Fundraising Job
• Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining: 10 Inspirational Fundraising Cliches

Want to share your bad day? Or thoughts on what you do when you’re having one? I’d love to read your comment — post it below.