Being a great fundraiser requires RESILIENCE. There’s a lot of rejection in fundraising and hearing “no” over and over can take a toll.
Fundraising is part art, part science. There isn’t only one right way to ask for money. Trial and error is par for the course.
That’s because fundraising involves humans. And humans have emotions. In other words, simply because one person responds one way to your request doesn’t mean another person will respond in the same way.
And that’s where resilience comes in — along with taking chances and learning from your failures. All of those things will boost your confidence.
3 Keys to Resilience in Fundraising, Particularly for Women
Is it possible that men are more resilient than women? And does that make them better fundraisers, simply because they’re willing to take more risks? (We’ll get to that at the end of the post.)
First, let’s look at three ways to improve your resilience (and confidence) when it comes to fundraising.
1. Practice, practice, practice
Practice doesn’t actually make perfect, but it certainly helps. While you may never actually perfect your ask, practice definitely works.
Malcolm Gladwell’s recent book, Outliers: The Story of Success, documents how practice leads to success. The most successful people in the world — whether in sports or in music or in other sectors — have practiced, practiced, practiced for thousands of hours, often many times more than those around them.
If you’re nervous about making an ask, find someone to practice with. But take it a step beyond role-play and make the practice count.
In other words, practice with a safe person — one of your closest board members or donors — and let them know that you’re practicing, but what you’re asking for is for real. And you’d very much appreciate their feedback afterward. That’s a great way to get real experience in a safe and comfortable way.
2. Get okay with “no”
Getting a “no” is a totally normal part of being a good fundraiser.
When I evaluate development directors, I want to know how many people they are asking for gifts (in an individual, personal, 1-to-1 way). If they get every gift they ask for, then I know they’re not asking enough.
Too few “no’s”
In other words, if a development director asks for 10 major gifts per year and gets a gift from each of those individuals, then I know they’re playing it safe. They’re only asking when they’re absolutely sure they’re going to get a “yes.” That means they’re likely leaving many potential gifts on the table.
Too many “no’s”
On the other hand, if a development director asks for 10 gifts and only gets 2 of those gifts, then I know they are not doing enough research or cultivation. They are being too aggressive and getting too many “no’s”.
That being said, most development directors err on the side of caution and are afraid to get rejected. But some rejection is a sign of a good fundraiser — it shows you’re willing to get out there and ask. Keep that in mind the next time you get a “no.”
3. Don’t be afraid to ask for help
It’s important to admit what you don’t know, and admit when you need help. Most fundraisers are in the helping profession but are afraid to ask for help. You might be happy to help others but loathe to ask for help yourself.
Being resilient means you try new things and pick yourself back up when you fall down. Learning and growing go hand-in-hand and people often need help to grow. That help may come in the form of professional development, finding a mentor, or hiring a coach.
For example, if you need help raising major gifts, you’re not alone — and there is help.
Go for it! BE RESILIENT!
I want to encourage you to be brave and take a few risks by trying new things.
Women are risk-averse, and that erodes resilience
There’s a famous statistic with regards to men and women and applying for jobs:
- Men will apply for a job when they meet about 50% of the requirements for that job.
- Women, on the other hand, won’t apply if they only meet 90% of the requirements.
Since the majority of professional fundraisers are women, it’s important to remind you about this significant difference between men and women.
In part, this difference is likely caused by a fear of failure which prevents women from venturing to new territory. Men somehow know they’ll learn on the job. In contrast, women tend to feel that they must be able to do 100% of the job on day one. But if that’s the case, how will you grow?
So, go ahead… take a chance!
It’s okay to try new things. In fact, you should try new things often. If you fail, you learn and grow. And you build your resilience and confidence. No matter what, you’ll bounce back.
In fact, you’ll probably discover you can do far more than you think you can. So go for it!
This is great advice and what I needed to remind myself today.
Wonderful post. We can all build our resilience & you’ve provided some really useful tips. Thank you Amy.
I can understand why in business it might look like men are more resilient than women but as a whole I fully believe that women are much more resilient than men. In every day life there are many more obstacles, like work, kids and homemaking that women must overcome and juggle daily. I think this makes women more resilient than men overall.
Amy, your golf analogy is great! I’m now past 70, but when I took golf lessons with a group of women 30 years ago,the instructor told us the game was “just for fun.” He coached us that when we were having a spell of not hitting the ball well, to just pick it up and put it in our pockets and walk to the next hole.
While I cannot know this for sure, I seriously doubt he would have advised male students with the same advice.
This strategy certainly kept me from becoming a serious golfer, but fortunately I knew my career was serious and rose to fulfilling high-level positions.
Thanks for inspiring this memory.
What great timing for me right now and an interesting way to frame the whole idea of getting better at this work. Thank you!
Sincerely; I have understood that in whatever circumstances, I should be resilient right.
Thank you.