Most fundraisers, executive directors, CEOs, and board members are scared to death of sabotaging a major gift.
So rather than taking the risk of asking for a gift, they often avoid asking at all costs. Of course, that’s the biggest risk of all — not asking!
The reality is that the fear of sabotaging a major gift is much greater than the chance of you actually doing so. In fact, I can’t recall a single instance of any fundraiser ever sharing a story of actually damaging a relationship by asking for a major gift. I’m sure it happens occasionally, but certainly not often.
Once again, the old adage bears repeating — no risk, no reward.
6 Ways You Could Sabotage a Major Gift
Asking for a major gift is really a relatively small risk compared with a huge potential reward. If you do happen to offend a donor, you can always apologize. Most rational people will understand.
What’s more, the chance of success — assuming you’ve done some research and cultivation — is very high. You may not get what you asked for, but you won’t damage the relationship either.
With that in mind, here are six ways you could sabotage a major gift.
1. Not asking at all.
That’s right. The number one way to undermine or ruin a major gift request is by not making it. You have no idea what the potential of any given donor is if you fail to ask.
2. Not thanking your donors.
This is probably the most obvious, so let’s get it out of the way. I shouldn’t even have to say it. Thank your donors, big and small.
If you asked in person or virtually, you should thank them in the same way (in addition to sending a note, letter, email, and even a phone call). For the biggest gifts, have a board member call or write a note in addition to the standard letters.
3. Not letting donors know how their gift was used.
Every donor wants to know they made a difference. If you expect future gifts, not letting donors know how their gift was used is a close second to not thanking donors.
If you asked in person, you should visit with that donor again several months later to let them know how their gift helped your clients, mission, and organization. Then send a follow-up note or email after your meeting to reiterate the highlights.
4. Asking too soon… or too late.
Timing can be an issue when the donor isn’t ready to be asked or if you miss your window of opportunity. Honestly, neither truly damages the relationship, so no real harm done — unless you wait too long and miss the chance to get a gift.
After each cultivation meeting, ask your prospective donor if they would be open to meeting again to discuss specific ways they could help the organization even more. If they say yes, it’s time to ask!
5. Asking for the wrong amount.
This for sure won’t truly wreck a donor relationship, so no worries here either. If you’re not sure how much to ask for, you can say something like, “I’m really not sure how much to ask for, so I’d like to share our needs (or how much something costs)”. If you could do all or part of that, we’d be so grateful.”
6. If the wrong person does the asking.
There really is something to fundraising being about relationships. If the development director does the asking, and the donor would rather sit down with the CEO, the gift probably won’t be as large. Similarly, if a board member who is competent and capable does the asking, all the better.
But let’s face facts — oftentimes it’s not possible or practical to have a board member or even the ED do the asking, so you’ve got to do the best with the reality at your organization.
Don’t Let Your Fear Hold You Back
I probably could have called this post 6 Ways to Reduce Your Fear of Asking for a Major Gift, but then you might not have read it. 😉
Whenever you’re paralyzed by fear, always ask yourself:
What will it cost me if I fail to act?
Putting that in terms of fundraising, how many gifts are you missing out on by failing to ask?
We’ve all had our worries about being prepared enough during a donor meeting, and we’ve all faced those nerve-wracking moments during an ask. But how often do those end in a ruined relationship? The worst-case scenario almost never happens.
Do you have a related story about a nervous moment with a donor or an ask that worked out better than you feared? Share it in the comments. I’d love to hear about it.
This is very helpful for me. Thank you so much!
Sometimes the truth is so obvious, but it needs to be stated plainly to be understood. Thank you for a clear and thought-provoking article.
I did not raise funds before. But I witnessed a Pastor friend who had a problem with is donor. He submitted a chapel building budget for $60.000. 50% of the project was funded. By the time the project will be funded for the second half, the cost of the material raised, and the budget raised to $80.000. This caused the doner to judge the Pastor as unfaithful. Then the doner stopped to fund the project. In a case like this, what the beneficiary can do?
Thank you