DON’T Do These 12 Things When Asking for a Major Gift

There are many things you “should” do when asking for major gifts. But because there are so many DO’s, it might be easier to remember what NOT to do — i.e., the DON’Ts.

Many of the things on this list are things you’re likely to already know. But you might forget to implement them in the hustle and bustle of your everyday work. Hopefully, one or two things on this list will spark an “ah-ha” moment. Maybe something will even surprise you.

12 DON’Ts When Asking for a Major Gift

Fundraising is as much about trying new things when you’re stuck in a rut as anything else. With that in mind, here’s a list 12 things you should never do to remind you of major gift best practices, and perhaps spark some new ideas.

1. DON’T ask for an amount that’s too low.

You may be afraid of asking for too much, but have you ever thought about what happens if you ask for too little? Major gift fundraising is often a discussion or negotiation. The number rarely goes up, but often comes down. Start high and you just may get a bigger gift than you expect.

2. DON’T forget to connect your case to that donor.

Put yourself in the donor’s shoes. Why do they care? Major gift fundraising isn’t about your needs, but a donor’s hopes and dreams. How does your case connect with the donor’s life experience?

3. DON’T ask unprepared.

Asking for a major gift isn’t the time to “wing it.” Treat every meeting with a donor as the most important meeting you have. Prepare by researching their gift history to your organization. Know in advance:

when they made their most recent gift
their giving patterns
their largest gift
the total they’ve given to your organization

4. DON’T ask in an inappropriate venue.

Talking about money is a sensitive subject. Don’t ask for gifts in a restaurant, coffee shop, or other public place where it might be hard to hear and others might be able to overhear your conversation.

5. DON’T ask during a meal.

It’s hard to talk and eat at the same time. Your mother told you not to talk with your mouth full. Not only that, timing the ask is challenging when you might get interrupted by a waiter. Instead, hold the meeting at the donor’s home or office, virtually on Zoom, or wherever is most convenient for your donor.

6. DON’T ask at an inappropriate time.

Be aware of what’s going on in your donor’s life which may make giving a gift difficult at that time, such as a recent divorce or poor health diagnosis. This is why knowing your donors and keeping up with them through good cultivation habits is so important.

7. DON’T ask without having practiced.

Asking for money is hard… practice makes it easier. While you don’t want to sound like a robot, you should be comfortable with your talking points and ask amount.

8. DON’T ask too soon or too late.

There are a lot of factors that go into determining the timing of an ask, but you should take cues from donors about when to ask.

There’s no absolute “perfect” time to ask, so if your donor is willing and able to meet, it’s time to ask. Let them know you’d like to come to speak with them about the needs of the organization and explore how they might help. Don’t keep the purpose of your visit a mystery.

9. DON’T ask without a specific reason in mind.

Don’t ask “just because.” You need to have a strong case for support every time you ask for a gift. Whether it’s to keep your current programs and services going strong or to start new ones, you must be able to provide a compelling case.

10. DON’T speak after you ask.

After the ask, wait quietly and patiently for a response. Assuming you’ve asked a question, it’s time to let the other person speak — even if takes them several seconds to consider their answer.

11. DON’T make a pitch.

When asking a donor for a gift, you should be having a two-way conversation. If you’re inclined to bring a “pitch deck” and make a pitch, you’re probably headed in the wrong direction. If one or two slides or “show and tell” will help illustrate your project, feel free to share them briefly.

If at any time during your meeting you find yourself talking for more than a few minutes, it’s time to stop and engage the person sitting across from you. Give them a chance to speak.

12. DON’T not ask.

In other words, ASK! If you get stuck in your to-do list or the craziness of the office, you may not get out and meet with donors. Or, if you’re so nervous that you avoid asking, you won’t raise money. Your clients, your organization, and your community is depending on you.

Although there are a lot of DON’Ts when it comes to fundraising, it’s more important to ask than anything else on this list. An imperfect ask is far better than none at all.

3 Essential DO’s When Engaging Donors

Knowing precisely what TO DO, what to say, and how to conduct yourself with donors is just as important as knowing what NOT TO DO. So, whenever you engage your donors in any capacity, never forget these three fundraising basics:

Be kind
Be respectful
Be honest

BOTTOM LINE — If you are sincere and authentic, you can’t go wrong. So get out there and ask for those gifts!